Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Chapter 1.9- Never Ending Unicorns

When we last left our intrepid heroes, the Nott's had inherited a rather large wad of cash, Sherman had become a father and wished to meet his new son, and Lottie had managed to add 2 and 2. Let's see what they get up to in their new house shall we?


Lottie?
-Sssshhhhhh! You're interrupting!
Lottie is that kids programming?
-SSSShhhhh! Yes!
Lottie you're pregnant!
-And? Kids' stuff is one of my favs! Check it!
*$#!+
Go! Fulfill a wish! Get away from the TV!
-Fine.


So I send her off to the day spa (wish to visit the day spa fulfilled. Wish to get a massage fulfilled) and the moment she exits I get an idea. She's got a wish to complete a ground mural, and an opportunity to create a ground mural anywhere in town. Why not?
Lottie-♪♫Tagging the ground. I'm tagging the ground. It's so much fun! Tagging the ground!♫♪
And though she puts out a tip jar, she gets no tips.


Meadow Carpenter-Rhodes merely glances as she walks by.


Betty Simovitch stops for only a moment to pump her fists and walk on. So let's see what Sherman is up to.


Sherman is attempting to fulfill the wish he rolled last time to pick up his son, Albert, by total stranger Constance Shelley.
(Either MC or SP or Woohooer was messing up at this point because I've never seen that happen with Twallan where the sims don't even remember meeting each other even though they've got a kid together.)
But EA won't let him pick his son up to fulfill the wish 'because he doesn't know this sims family well enough.' So Sherman chats up Constance, while his son...


...Lays on the rug behind him. I get why EA did this, but geez. What torture!


So while Sherman tries to get to know more than his his baby mama's name Jon Lessen (Wanna-be Ex-Rocker) comes to admire the kickin' RV Lottie has just stuck on the ground.
Jon Lessen- You know, I used to go around in one of those things. The adventures we used to have! Whoooo! I bet I could tell you some stories little lady.
Lottie- EEeeewww. I don' wanna know! *gasp!!!
Not again!
-YES! I wish to Protest Something!
Why on Sim Planet would you wish...



Oh. That's why.
Jon Lessen- I could just show you some of my adventures... Whooo!
Lottie-Ew.
Lottie! To the protest! Now! Wait, what are they protesting?


Unicorns?


-What do we want? LESS UNICORNS! When do we want it? NOW!
Lottie? You're the only one chanting. And I've already turned them off in register after the fiasco with the never ending unicorn at the Sixkiller home.
-Who cares! No UNICORNS!!!
Oh whatever. I wonder how Sherman is getting on with his wish to pick up Albert...


Poor Sherman is shuffling his feet while Albert still lays on the floor behind him. But Look! You've done it Shermy! You're friends with her!


And after 4 hours of working to befriend his baby mama Sherman finally gets to pick up little Albert.



Such a sweet father son moment.


Right up until... Yup! That! Have fun daddy!

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Chapter 1.8-In Loving Memory of Mom


 
When we last left our intrepid heroes Shermy was PMSing and Lottie was trying to damage the little unformed baby brain she's carrying by seeing just how high off of paint fumes she could get. But that was yesterday, and today is Leisure day. Let's see what these two get up to today...
 

 
Lottie?
-Yo!
You're pregnant. And though I've been assured that starving to death by participating in a hotdot eating contest has been fixed, you're still pregnant.
-And?
Yeah. I figured that would be your answer. Knock your self out. And while you do that, where's your husband?
-Over there having a waterballoon fight with a clown.
With a clown?


-Of course! Who else would wear those awful striped pants?
Let's see. That's Angel Lobos. Yup. A clown!


Hey! Wait a second! I thought you were going to-
- -Yeah yeah. I want this little one to survive. Maybe when I'm not pregnant.
I think that's wise.


-Hey, Lottie?
Lottie- *gasp! James! How are you?
James- I'm great! Looks like you are too. Hey, wanna dance together?
Lottie- I'd love to!


Lottie? Are you sure this is really wise?
Lottie- Why wouldn't it be? It's only a little friendly slow dance!
What do you think your husband would say?
Lottie- Dunno. Don't care.
James- You look really nice today, Lottie. It's almost like you're glowing.



James- OUCH! Ooo!Ooo!Ooo! Ouch!
Lottie- I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I just got distracted and totally forgot where my feet were going.
James- You must weigh a metric ton to make my toe hurt like that! Geez! What on earth distracted you so badly?
Lottie- My husband totally got creamed by a clown over there and then wandered off.
Wait. Sherman wandered off? On his own? Dadgum it. Sherman! Where are you?



Sherman!
-The cold water doesn't help make the voices go away. I've got to find another method.
Sherman, I will never stop haunting you until the day you die. Get used to it. Quit complaining. What are you doing?
-Swimming in the ocean!


But that's not the ocean! This is Riverview. This is a River. Rivers and oceans are different!
-It's water right?
It's water, but not the same.
-I wished for it, right?
...
-I win!
Damn you, Sherman.



So as Sherman decides to take a refreshing dip in the 'ocean' I decide to go see just what Lottie is up to. Of course, when we're down here all she's doing is slow dancing with her old friend James Reed. But by the time I get back up there...



Lottie- Ohemgee your nose and ears are huge!
Walter Grisby- I know, right? They're hilarious! And so's my voice. The maker forgot to fix me when this world started up.
Lottie- That's so awful! Poor you! *giggles.
Angel Lobos- Hey want something to really giggle over?



Lottie- Your pants?
Angel- Hey! What's wrong with my pants?
Lottie- They're clown pants?
Lottie?
Lottie- Yeah?
Might be time to walk away from that conversation. Why don't you go find something else to do, okay?
Lottie-Okay!


Wait a second. You went with that suggestion a little too easily-
Sherman- Alright! My wife's got ideas!
That thought bubble really gives it away doesn't it?


Lottie- Now don't forget, wait only a moment, then come in.
Shermy- I'm going to be a great forensic analyst. Obviously I'm not going to overlook a small detail like entering. Geez.
Lottie- I'd forget. So I'm just makin' sure.
You would forget, Lottie.
Lottie- What's that supposed to mean?


Lottie- I got in my own way. I mean, how does that happen? How did I manage to block my own path?
Lottie, with you? I'd believe anything is possible.


-AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!
Even that position. How did you get your legs to move like that.
Lottie- Shut up.
Aw. You know you love me.


Wish to attend the Summer Festival (And swim in the ocean, and get a greeting card, and play in the family fun water arena)  knocked out I send the two of them home to fulfill wishes to read a pregnancy book. The moment they sit down I get the notification that Sherman is now the father of a little boy named Albert by a woman he has zero relationship with. This notification cleared and Shermy rolls a wish to pick up Albert. That'll be fun.


Get that wish locked in and I get another notification. This time it's to let us know that Sherman's mother, Ma Bagley, has died and left him and his sister, Rhoda, some money a piece.


Lottie-Wait a second, what was that?
What was what Lottie?
-That simolean plus sign thingy. I swear it was there not two seconds ago.
Oh. Yeah. 'Cause Ma Bagley died.
-What was that number again?
§289,482

Lottie- So we started with like §10,000 simoleans in our family funds, right?
Yeeeesss...


-So now we add like §250,000 to that, right?
Ooooh, you're so close! Come on girl! You can do it!


Lottie- I got it! It means we're rich!
Ding ding ding! Give the girl a cookie!
Lottie- Woot! We're so getting a bigger place to raise our kids! I'm going to go pack! Moving day tomorrow!


Sherman- My Mommy's dead?
Yes, Sherman. I'm so sorry. Aw. You haz a sad.
Sherman- Yes. I may not have been very close to my mother, but that doesn't mean she wasn't my mom.
Awwwww! You're being cute!
Sherman- So saying, I'm hungry. And what better way to honor my mother than by...


-Using the deep frier she sent as a wedding gift!
*facepalm. Why did I put that out without retuning it? Why did I forget to retune it?


-This deep fried burrito shall forever remind me of my mother.
Deep Fried Burrito? Dude. Chimichanga. A deep fried burrito is called a chimichanga.
-Fine then. It's in loving memory of mom.
Whatever.


So because the Remington mansion wasn't available and I didn't feel like kicking the Jones family out right now (or doing the extensive renovations I usually do on that place) I buy them that house that EA uses and remakes and plops as a nice house in almost every other world they make. It's pretty easily fix uppable, and starts out quite livable enough. Even including a nursery for the impending birth, which should be tomorrow morning. I'll wait to see how many boogers she pops out before doing any work though. might as well see what I'm facing first, right?



Oh look! They start right off by showing that I'm not going to have quite the same routing problems! Yay! I'm So happy!

So! Join us next time as the Nott's quickly discover what the house is missing, and Sherman takes on the daunting wish of trying to pick his son up!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Chapter 1.7-The World is my Popsicle

When we last left our heroic couple Lottie had married Sherman Bagley (now Nott,) moved in with him and wished for a baby. Then they both wished to go to the festival where Lottie, once again, decorated the building and we discover that Sherman has the Coward Trait. Lottie had gone home all on her own to puke again and James stayed behind, his victory over his wife in Hot Dog Eating still fresh in his mind.
 
 
Hey Sherman?
-Damn! It's that voice again.
Sherman, I'm going to be here for a while. Get used to it.
-Fine. I'm still seeing a therapist about you though.
Knock yourself out. But what are you doing?
-What does it look like I'm doing?
Challenging all the old ladies in town to a hotdog eating contest. But surely you're not that...
 

 
-Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy! I'm gonna win I'm gonna win I'm gonna win I'm gonna win I'm gonna win.
Lady on the far right- Elbow him in the head Nellie! He sounds like a broken record!
Nellie (in the purple hat)- Nah, I've got a better idea, let's show him what we're made of girls!
*DING!!!


Sherman- MMmmmFff Fwinnin'!!! Floook 'em gag! (Iiiiiii'mm Winning! Look at 'em gag!)
Harriet- *Gasp! *Choke! Not on your life boy!


Harriet- Haha! Eat THAT pretty boy!
Sherman- Mmmmmffff, NOM, UFffff, fno! Fecond! I'ff be fecond! (*eating noises. UMmmmm, no! Second! I'll be second!)

 
June-Nope! You silly little boy. You need to get up a whole lot earlier to be able to beat us. C'mon Nellie! Spank the little boy! Show 'im what you're made of!
Nellie- *Hack!!! *Gag! *Gasp!!!


*DING!!!
Sherman- Oh, my Maker. Oooooooooh, my maker. I lost to a bunch of old women. *whispers! Old women!
Nellie- Sorry girls. I'm just as good at this anymore. But I'm getting my esophagus stretched soon, so we'll have to do a rematch pretty boy.
Sherman- Oh my Maker.
 

 
The next day is Leisure Day and instead of Sherman taking a break, he's to be found in the upstairs bathroom:
-Stupid effin damn-
You don't wanna finish that Shermy!
-And why not?!?
Because I'm not putting the adult warning up. That's why.

 
-You know, I wouldn't be so upset about the mopping if only that stupid tub would quit spewing it all over the floor!
Then wish to repair it pretty boy.
-No! We've got the funds. I want it replaced!
But, I want to save that to move you two into a bigger house!
-I wish to replace it! And I want a maid! And a hamper! And a pool party!
Geez. No need to get your panties in such a wad. You're no fun. Where's Lottie?
-I haven't seen her since she spun unto some new sleep wear  little while ago.
WHAT?!?!? How did I miss that??? Lottie!!!


 
-♪♫Tagging the wall. Tagging the wall. It's so much fun! Tagging the wall! ♫♪
Lottie?
-Yo! It's the Maker! Haven't seen you this morning!
Why didn't you tell me-
-That I got new sleepwear? No biggie.
No biggie??? Lottie it means you're-

 
-♫♪Tagging the wall.-♪♫
Lottie.
-You're such a buzzkill. Literally.
Yes, about that. This is an enclosed space. That is magical spraypaint.

 
-And what's your point?
That I'd rather like a few extra IQ points from that little one in your tummy.
-Blah. You're so boring.
You keep life too interesting.
-Fine.

 
-There, see? That better?
Yes Lottie, thank you. But what are you going to go do?

-Decorate the wall! You don't want me decorating the inside of the garage, I'll just decorate the outside!

 

-Mmmmm. See? Isn't it so much prettier?
Lottie, what is that?
-The world is my popsicle. Dripping with simmy goodness. Yum.

 
Do you really think you should be standing that close to it, Lottie?
-Why wouldn't I stand close to it?
Maybe the toxic fumes that could somehow affect your unborn child???

 
-Nah. Baby likes it. *babyvoice Don't you baby? Baby likes Mommy's pretty pictures that make pretty smells!
Oh Lottie. I really worry for the future.
-What's that supposed to mean?
Nothing, Lottie. Nothing at all.

 
-Gasp! I've got an idea!
With the fumes you've just inhaled? I kinda doubt it.
-No! Really! And it's a good one!
Oh no. No please. I want those simoleans to-
-I wish for a pool!!!
Damn you!
Damn you all to heck!


 
-Ohmymaker . Ohmymaker! I've got a pool!
-*gasp!
What?
-Ohmymaker. Oh.My.Maker!
What Lottie? What's wrong? Did Timmy fall down the well?
-I'm MARRIED!
Damn you, Lottie. Where's Sherman?
-Leisure Day festival. He said something about having a score to settle.
You two are going to kill me. You know that right?
-Sims only last a little while, but Makers last forever.
Thanks Lottie.

 
Sherman?
-Mmmf! Nod' Now foice in ma' 'fed! Fwinnin'! (Not now voice in my head! Winning!)
Sherman did you seriously challenge every elder male in town to  hotdog eating contest?
-Yeff!
...
...
Well, might as well see how you do huh?
 

 
I mean, if he lost to three sweet little old ladies, surely he'll lose to these gentlemen right?

 
But what's this? What's this?

 
It. It can't be. It looks like he's pulling ahead! And Really Kurt? You're losing??? To Sherman Bagley-Nott???


 
-Yes! Yes! I Am the winner!!!
Hey Sherman?
-The winner who hears voices. *facepalm.
Sherman, you do remember who you're married to, right?
-Yeah? Why?
Because you're not the winner my boy. Not by a long shot.
-What's that supposed to mean?
Nothing Sherman. Nothing at all.