Chapter 1.11-Something Scary

When we last left our Courageous Heroine she had just given birth to quadruplets which, if nothing else, helps along with her LTW. Our Newly minted Evil Villain Sherman: Captain Douche Bag had gone outside to sleep on a bench even as poor Lottie put her babies into beds on her own. Now, being a Family Oriented sim I figured Lottie would immediately start rolling wishes to take care of her newly born babies. But no. Instead-



-There are four of you. Holy PlumbBob there are four of you. I have 5 kids.

Correction asshat-

-Oh damn. It's you again.

I will haunt your grave Sherman, get used to it. But as I-

-Why???

Because you're a total tool. Now then. You do NOT have only 5 kids. You have 5 kids, more on the way, a mistress, a girlfriend and a wife. Zip it up, pogodick. This is you're own damn fault.

 

 

-Sheesh. And I thought my mom was unaccepting.

There is no accepting your rather extreme infidelity. And with MY wishacy heir too!

-Hey, you're the one who sent her to me.

Eff you. Why are you right?

Also, to be fair to our heroine, Lottie doesn't entirely ignore her kids either in her wishes or her autonomy. Though the autonomy usually only kicks in when one of them is screaming. Poor Flynn. Screaming his head off. So why is it Lottie and not Captain Douche Bag?

 

 

Because he's right where he needs to be. The scum.

It took a little bit, but finally Lottie and Sherman are in the same room tending to babies together. So, Captain Douche Bag?

CDB- Please don't call me that.

Don't you have something to tell your wife?

Lottie- Poor Cash. Daddy? Did you change him?

CDB- Yes, dear.

Yes dear and???

CDB- Nothing. Yes dear and nothing. That's the score.

Lottie? Where are you going?

Lottie- My sweet husband took care of all of the kids! I'm outta here.

*facepalm.

And so Lottie paints while that devious Captain Douche Bag strolls on. Wait! Where are you going?

CDB- To make sure my wonderful wife doesn't have to do any work and can instead paint to her hearts content!

I hate you.

CDB- Enough to go away?

Never.

CDB- You're still following me?

You have laundry in your hand and you take better care of your kids than your wife.

CDB- Why are you still following me?

I'm waiting for you to spontaneously turn into a girl. Or burst into flames. Or drop dead from a random meteor.

CDB- Bit morbid there aren't you?

I have reason to be. I also have all the buttons that control such events at my finger tips.

CDB- I think I just wet myself.

Good. That's good. We're making progress.

So life goes on for a day or so with no one rolling any wishes that require my intervention. Until the unexpected happens.

They arrive.

And I have a little fun at their expense. Too bad that doesn't actually work. And when I go to delete them I decide that it might be a little more fun to let two of the kids keep theirs. So I allow Cash (Evil Virtuoso) and Samantha (Good Neurotic) to keep theirs. If nothing else, it'll help keep their social needs up when they become kids. It could also prove to be rather entertaining.

Lottie- Look, I know you already take care of the kids, do the laundry and in general keep the house clean but I think you ought to be cooking me my meals too. I mean, how am I ever going to gain enough art skill if I'm wasting my time cooking?

Finally, Lottie rolls a wish. The wish is to 'chat' with Captain Douche Bag.

Lottie- Alright Maker. Why do you keep calling him that?

Captain Douche Bag? Why do I keep calling you that?

CDB- I love you Lottie!

*headdesk  *headdesk *headdesk I hate you Captain Douche Bag.

Lottie- I love you too Shermy!

The resultant baby chimes are interrupted by my sobbing and the arrival of the maid to pick up the laundry those two carelessly flung on the floor in their heat of the moment passion.

*Wish to hire a maid- Check!

*Wish to have a baby with Sherman (*SOB!)- will get the check in a few sim days.

The roll in the hay seems to have inspired a few wishes from Lottie and the second I send her off this is what Captain Douche Bag does.

-W-w-w-wha-what if the maid bugged the room? What if I never have my privacy in here???

You get no privacy pretty boy. Go change those dirty diapers.

The first of Lottie's newly rolled wishes involves attending the fall festival. The moment she walks in the door she joins the apple bobbing contest.

Uhm, Lottie?

-Yo!

You kind of need other people to have a contest there dearie.

-If I wait here, they will come.

You've been there for hours now. The other people are all upstairs. Why not get your face painted and we'll try again later?

-Oooo! I want PlumbBobs on my cheek!

Sounds lovely. Go do it.

*wish to attend Fall Festival-Check!

*wish to get face painted- Check!

-(Mumbling) no green paint, I swear that kid painted my forehead and eyes, that's not my cheek

Lottie? What happened to PlumbBobs on your cheek?

-(Still mumbling) she also painted my lips. PlumbBobs on the cheek aren't on my lips.

-I've got it!

You did? What did you get? What is it Lassie girl?

-That little snark didn't give me PlumbBobs did she?

No. No she didn't Lottie.

-So what am I? A clown or something?

You could say that. You could say that indeed.

Random Chick- *giggles. Oh.em.gee. My kid sister is manning the face painting booth isn't she? BWAAAAhahahahahaha!

Lottie- Shut up or I'll have my maker smite you.

Random Chick- Ooooooo! Scary!

Lottie- *mumbling. I'll show her who's scary. What would make me more scary... what would... Maker!
Lottie!

Yes, I know this pic is totally non-sequitir but just go with it.

-I want to get a new tattoo!!!

I want you to grow a brain cell!

-No really. Look. Get a tattoo. Right there in my wishes.

Oh. Okay.

-Make it scary. I want to scare people.

Right.

(2 sim hours later)

-Maker! Maker! Look! Is it scary? Did you get me something scary?

Yes Lottie. I made sure you had something totally terrifying.

-Awesome. That's just what I wanted.

So! Join us next time as our valiant heroine tries to get hypothermia, shows us just what kind of a mother she really is, and Sherman gets more kids.

-Sherman gets what?

A swift kick!

-What's that supposed to mean?

Chapter 1.10-The Basket of Doom

When we last left our brave heroes they had moved into a larger house, Lottie joined the Anti-Unicorn Movement, and Sherman was being faced with the horrors of first time father hood.

 

 

 

How's it going Sherman?
-I picked him up off the floor. He should be happy! I'm a terrible father!
Nah. You just need to do something that'll make baby Albert happy.
-Like what?
Well, have you checked to see if he's dirty?
-*Sniff. Nope.
Is he hungry?

-Dunno. Let's see.
Sherman?
-Hey! It worked!
Sherman that's not Albert's mouth, sweetie.
-But he's not crying! Father of the Year here I come!

Well, that lasted all of 10 seconds. Hahahahahaha. Father of the year.
-What's that supposed to mean?
Nothing Sherman. Nothing at all. Let's go check on Lottie, shall we?



-I have no clue what I'm yelling about!
Seriously Lottie? You've even managed to bore George Dean. That's just sad.
-I'm Yelling, but I don't know why!
Hey, Lottie? Remind me to retune the megaphone again later.
-Yes! Now I'm yelling to remind my Maker to never let me do this again! Who's with me?!?
All of them, Lottie. All of them.

It's getting late and has started raining and Lottie opts to drive herself home so I go to peek on Sherman again. He hasn't really rolled anything I can do right now so I'm kind of hoping he, too, will opt to drive himself home since I see his energy bar is kind of low.
Sherman?

Damn you, Sherman. I hope you get frost bite.

Opting to watch Lottie sleep instead of Sherman I get a lovely start when 'The Bassoon and String Stinger' starts to play. Well dammit. I'd completely forgotten this house doesn't come with a burglar alarm. Now I need someone to remind me to get that No Burglary Mod updated. Layla and Iggy get broken into enough thankyouverymuch.

So I quickly cancel Lottie's sleep interaction and order her to call the police (wishacy non controlling rules be damned. I just bought this house! And I'll follow them to the letter the moment Lottie does that. Promise.)

Ah-Ha! You're going to steal that statue aren't you?

Oh. You're opting for the street light over the statue? Seriously?

Oh. Right. Routing. The Statue it is then. Dammit Lottie? Where are you? Where are the police?

On the... LOTTIE! There is a burglar prowling around! Give me drama! Call the stupid police!
-Hey! I love the police! They're not stupid. And I reeeeeeeealy need to pee. Pee first, burglar control second.
Dammit Lottie. Hurry up and call the police! Where is that creeper stalking to next?

Right through the back gate! I wonder what was back there she'd want to take. Why'd she stop?

AhHA! Lottie called the police! Woot! She's finally done something good! Go get him Officer Whoeveryouare and then get the heck off of my lot before my sim gets any ideas!

So I watch the officer barely go through the gate (yell Duck) before suddenly turning around and running the other way.
Hey! The criminal is that way! The other way! Turn around!

Burglar- Tut tut! It looks like rain!
*facepalm

And here comes Officer Whoever again, panting and out of breath.

Officer Whatzisname- *pant! *wheeze! DUCK!
Burglar- huh?

Officer WhoAmI- Yes, Duck!
Burglar- Whatever.

Aaaaand, off he goes again. Grrreeeeaaaat. Really great police work here.

Well, at least Lottie is on her very slow pregnant way. Maybe we'll finally move forward now she's here. Stupid Sherman sleeping at your baby mama's house!

And on his second lap of the house, Officer RunsALot reappears as Lottie finally makes it into the backyard.

Suddenly, the burglar moves, switching places with the officer.
Officer IDunno- Goose!
Lottie- Goose? As in the person who just stole my statue is a silly goose? This isn't preschool! I'm a damsel in distress! Protect me!

Lottie- Oh... Duck Duck Goose. The burglar is 'it' now. I get it. I think. No. No I don't. Will you be too much longer? I'm kind of tired.

And at long last the burglar is subdued and Officer WhoeverHeIs forces her to return the statue as a very tired Lottie heads back to bed. But a quick peek at Sherman shows me he's awake and about to... what?

Stargaze with his baby mama?!? Great. Just great. Have you rolled anything I can get you out of this with? No? Dammit Sherman.

And if that wasn't enough- this is what he follows stargazing with.
Dammit Sherman! I have enough to do just keeping up with Lottie! What the heck man?

But he just turns his back and continues groping the 'Kathleen Turner in Romancing the Stone' wanna be. Jerk. I'mma leave you here. To go check on Lottie. You know I hate you now, right?
Sherman- MMM-hmm!
Damn you.
Aw- not now! Not that notification!

Lottie- Ooooooo! Ouch! My tummy!
Lottie? Are you okay?
Lottie- No. No I'm not. That was a kind of long night and now- OUCHIE! my tummy has got a rumbly!
*gasp!!! no. NO. NO NO NO PLEASE NO. Why am I hearing BABY CHIMES???
Lottie- You heard what?
Nothing! Dammit! I heard NOTHING that concerns you at this very moment!

Sherman, you are officially dead to me. As is that particular setting in Woohooer.
Sherman- Sleeping!
Asshole. You don't fool me. Crap. Lottie! Lottie get to the hospital! I swear this is the last time I control you!

Lottie-Where's Sherman? Do I have to drive myself with the tummy ouchies I'm having? Really?
Just go Lottie. Just go! Could this day get any worse?

And so Lottie enters the hospital to give birth alone. Her Cheating Husband off with his (checks relationship panel really quickly)... Wait a second. You have a girlfriend Sherman? You have a wife, a romantic-interest-baby-mama and a girlfriend?!? Yeah. My MC or SP isn't working. Something's up here.

Sherman finally manages to zip his pants back up and arrives just moments before Lottie gives birth.

Soon after she comes out with a basket, Sherman straggling along behind her.

She then proceeds to get in a taxi with said basket leaving a tired Sherman at the hospital. He can stay there for all I care.

And my poor Lottie finally arrives back home, alone, with her basket of doom.

First up is Cash. He is an Evil Virtuoso. Because there is nothing better than a violent violinist.

Next, Lottie pulls out Flynn, the Eccentric Genius. Because I think an uncontrollable sim playing with the inventing bench sounds hilarious.

As Lottie is putting Flynn in his crib Sherman arrives 'home.' He soon after decides to ignore his newly born children and goes to sleep on the bench shown in his thought bubble. Appropriate. Rot there Sherman.

Lottie arrives to find the basket still here. (*sob!)

And reaches in to pull out an Absent-Minded Athletic Paige.

*sigh. Her fourth reappearance at the basket of doom she pulls out Samantha. A good, neurotic, little girl. The final one. My first ever quads. And that's with Quads turned off.

So, Next time! Follow our heroine (and our evil villain) as at least one of them attempts to raise quads without any direction from me. *sob!