Chapter 1.11-Something Scary

When we last left our Courageous Heroine she had just given birth to quadruplets which, if nothing else, helps along with her LTW. Our Newly minted Evil Villain Sherman: Captain Douche Bag had gone outside to sleep on a bench even as poor Lottie put her babies into beds on her own. Now, being a Family Oriented sim I figured Lottie would immediately start rolling wishes to take care of her newly born babies. But no. Instead-



-There are four of you. Holy PlumbBob there are four of you. I have 5 kids.

Correction asshat-

-Oh damn. It's you again.

I will haunt your grave Sherman, get used to it. But as I-

-Why???

Because you're a total tool. Now then. You do NOT have only 5 kids. You have 5 kids, more on the way, a mistress, a girlfriend and a wife. Zip it up, pogodick. This is you're own damn fault.

 

 

-Sheesh. And I thought my mom was unaccepting.

There is no accepting your rather extreme infidelity. And with MY wishacy heir too!

-Hey, you're the one who sent her to me.

Eff you. Why are you right?

Also, to be fair to our heroine, Lottie doesn't entirely ignore her kids either in her wishes or her autonomy. Though the autonomy usually only kicks in when one of them is screaming. Poor Flynn. Screaming his head off. So why is it Lottie and not Captain Douche Bag?

 

 

Because he's right where he needs to be. The scum.

It took a little bit, but finally Lottie and Sherman are in the same room tending to babies together. So, Captain Douche Bag?

CDB- Please don't call me that.

Don't you have something to tell your wife?

Lottie- Poor Cash. Daddy? Did you change him?

CDB- Yes, dear.

Yes dear and???

CDB- Nothing. Yes dear and nothing. That's the score.

Lottie? Where are you going?

Lottie- My sweet husband took care of all of the kids! I'm outta here.

*facepalm.

And so Lottie paints while that devious Captain Douche Bag strolls on. Wait! Where are you going?

CDB- To make sure my wonderful wife doesn't have to do any work and can instead paint to her hearts content!

I hate you.

CDB- Enough to go away?

Never.

CDB- You're still following me?

You have laundry in your hand and you take better care of your kids than your wife.

CDB- Why are you still following me?

I'm waiting for you to spontaneously turn into a girl. Or burst into flames. Or drop dead from a random meteor.

CDB- Bit morbid there aren't you?

I have reason to be. I also have all the buttons that control such events at my finger tips.

CDB- I think I just wet myself.

Good. That's good. We're making progress.

So life goes on for a day or so with no one rolling any wishes that require my intervention. Until the unexpected happens.

They arrive.

And I have a little fun at their expense. Too bad that doesn't actually work. And when I go to delete them I decide that it might be a little more fun to let two of the kids keep theirs. So I allow Cash (Evil Virtuoso) and Samantha (Good Neurotic) to keep theirs. If nothing else, it'll help keep their social needs up when they become kids. It could also prove to be rather entertaining.

Lottie- Look, I know you already take care of the kids, do the laundry and in general keep the house clean but I think you ought to be cooking me my meals too. I mean, how am I ever going to gain enough art skill if I'm wasting my time cooking?

Finally, Lottie rolls a wish. The wish is to 'chat' with Captain Douche Bag.

Lottie- Alright Maker. Why do you keep calling him that?

Captain Douche Bag? Why do I keep calling you that?

CDB- I love you Lottie!

*headdesk  *headdesk *headdesk I hate you Captain Douche Bag.

Lottie- I love you too Shermy!

The resultant baby chimes are interrupted by my sobbing and the arrival of the maid to pick up the laundry those two carelessly flung on the floor in their heat of the moment passion.

*Wish to hire a maid- Check!

*Wish to have a baby with Sherman (*SOB!)- will get the check in a few sim days.

The roll in the hay seems to have inspired a few wishes from Lottie and the second I send her off this is what Captain Douche Bag does.

-W-w-w-wha-what if the maid bugged the room? What if I never have my privacy in here???

You get no privacy pretty boy. Go change those dirty diapers.

The first of Lottie's newly rolled wishes involves attending the fall festival. The moment she walks in the door she joins the apple bobbing contest.

Uhm, Lottie?

-Yo!

You kind of need other people to have a contest there dearie.

-If I wait here, they will come.

You've been there for hours now. The other people are all upstairs. Why not get your face painted and we'll try again later?

-Oooo! I want PlumbBobs on my cheek!

Sounds lovely. Go do it.

*wish to attend Fall Festival-Check!

*wish to get face painted- Check!

-(Mumbling) no green paint, I swear that kid painted my forehead and eyes, that's not my cheek

Lottie? What happened to PlumbBobs on your cheek?

-(Still mumbling) she also painted my lips. PlumbBobs on the cheek aren't on my lips.

-I've got it!

You did? What did you get? What is it Lassie girl?

-That little snark didn't give me PlumbBobs did she?

No. No she didn't Lottie.

-So what am I? A clown or something?

You could say that. You could say that indeed.

Random Chick- *giggles. Oh.em.gee. My kid sister is manning the face painting booth isn't she? BWAAAAhahahahahaha!

Lottie- Shut up or I'll have my maker smite you.

Random Chick- Ooooooo! Scary!

Lottie- *mumbling. I'll show her who's scary. What would make me more scary... what would... Maker!
Lottie!

Yes, I know this pic is totally non-sequitir but just go with it.

-I want to get a new tattoo!!!

I want you to grow a brain cell!

-No really. Look. Get a tattoo. Right there in my wishes.

Oh. Okay.

-Make it scary. I want to scare people.

Right.

(2 sim hours later)

-Maker! Maker! Look! Is it scary? Did you get me something scary?

Yes Lottie. I made sure you had something totally terrifying.

-Awesome. That's just what I wanted.

So! Join us next time as our valiant heroine tries to get hypothermia, shows us just what kind of a mother she really is, and Sherman gets more kids.

-Sherman gets what?

A swift kick!

-What's that supposed to mean?